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Submitted on
June 14, 2011
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1.8 MB


10 (who?)
Derek Usher Bio by Hione Derek Usher Bio by Hione
Omigosh another long bio. OTL

Again, please point out things I need to fix. And, sorry for his long history. OTL

Name: Derek Usher

Race: Hylian

Age: 27

Height: 6' 2"

Weight: 152 (He may only eat meat, but he's still kinda sickly looking instead of overweight.)

Occupation: Cannibal. :'D He's also a collector of rare and neat things.

Weapons: Any short knife he can find he uses.

Special skills: He can creep people out, but still look adorable while doing it. He can also turn crazy at the drop of a hat.

Magic: NONE

Items: Pointy thiiiings.

Brief Bio: Derek is an in your face kinda guy. He's not mouthy, he just REALLY likes to get in people's faces and smile a creepy smile. Since he's mentally deficient and was raised with a small amount of people, he doesn't see any need for respecting someone's personal space. He's very touchy-feely, but only with those he's gotten to know. He's also a bit bi-polar and the smallest thing can set him off. He's nervous about people finding out he's a cannibal and sometimes does hear voices in his head. > A >

Quirks: He likes to eat peoples. He's weird. He'll also drink blood and mix it into a lot of his fixings. (He has an enchanted steel box that freezes anything placed inside within three seconds per every inch of thickness. He makes bloodcicles with it. :'D ) He can be rather chilish, since he's never left his mansion in the woods. Usually he'll look at people as food, but not his friends. Well, most of the time not his friends. His morals of right and wrong are a little screwy, but with a firm hand he can be drawn under control. Unless he bites the hand, then it's war. > A >

History: Ohdear. WELL. Think of the House of Usher [link] Basically his family is bred from incest and all of them are nuts.

Anyway, it all started back in the original days where Ganon first appeared. The Usher family was just beginning to grow and towns everywhere were flooded with the undead. Derek's family figured that if they began burning the dead instead of burying them then Ganon would have less to bring back. Thus started the family morgue where people brung in their fallen family members and the Usher family burned them. This made the family very wealthy and the more wealthy they became the closer they kept to each other in marriage.

A few generations later there came a little... accident. Derek's great, great, great, grammy was throwing a large dinner for her birthday. Now, before burning the bodies the Usher family seperated their organs and burned them seperately too, that way if the ashes were uncovered their entire body would not be of use. One of the servants, rather pissed at grammy for being married to her lover, decided to switch the birthday meat with the human organs.

Grammy liked it, a lot. After pestering the girl for the new meals secret she broke down and told the family what the meat really was, feeling guilty.

At this time their business was slacking just a bit, so grammy figured that since the meat tasted much better than animals that they could substitute that with their regular meals. This would also cut back on cost since people were practically paying them to GIVE them their new food. They could always burn wood or something with the ashes and pass it off as the people's family members.

With their new plan in set, the family continued on with their business, using whatever they could from the bodies presented.

Naturally, from the inbreeding, they became more and more mentally unstable. They also thinned out the more they killed each other because by now they knew no-one would accept them in a normal life.

Thus comes the generation of Derek's father, his mother, his sister, his aunts and uncles, cousins, and himself.

Daddy was nuts. He talked to himself in his study often and snuck away into the various trap-doors around the mansion just to be alone. Derek still remembers seeing new cuts over the man each time he returned.

Mommy was even worse-- she thought every man was her husband and if they turned out not to be she would attack them for lying. Obviously she loved her brother (hubby) very much. Once she attacked a customer, and Daddy knew he had to keep her contained. She was locked in the attic which only mad her hysteria worse. Derek would visit her, but once she tried to molest him Daddy knew he had to end her once and for all--- there goes mom. Derek was, what, ten?

Her screaming made the customers more scarce, and things got worse when Daddy took on auntie (his other blood sister) as his new wife when Derek was almost 11. They had a daughter, and she loooooved Derek. A lot.

Derek did not like his auntie, or really his baby sister. Auntie would always kiss his ear and hold him WAY too tight. Once she pushed him into the incenerator and threatened to burn him alive.

Daddy was not pleased, so there goes mommy number two. Derek was fifteen when she was killed, his little sis was 4.

Daddy grew desperate and even turned to their uncle, his first wife's dad. Their family line is really awkward turtle, I swear.

Anyway, granddad/newmom/greatuncle was not very nice to dad since daddy killed his little girls.

They both killed each other in a struggle when Derek was 18. Little sis was 7. Little sis kept trying to molest her older brother, constantly. She learned from the best, right?

By this time customers forgot about the family, so no-one came anymore.

Phew. ANYWAY. Dad gone, two moms gone, and weird grandad uncle person; all gone. That leaves Derek, his sister, his two aunts and one uncle, and his three cousins.

OK. The two aunts had already wandered away when they saw their sister/daughter turn crazy. Aliah, the more sane of the two sisters, went on to marry an uncle from RingMaster's family. She took on the curse, but this made her lose all sanity. They did have spider children together, but all of them had to be killed off because they inherited her family's insanity.

Wow. First mom's mom, grandma, just dropped off the face of the earth who knows where.

Uncle was left to watch Derek, his sister, and their three cousins. I'm not even going to lie to you-- these kids did experiment with each other. Two cousins hooked up, one roughtly in their 20's and the other in middle teens. They left when Derek was 20.

So that leaves Derek, uncle, sister, and cousin. Sister Mauriee and cousin David. Mauriee still reeeaaaally loved her brother. A lot.

Derek's still 20 at this time, sister is now 9. David is 17. Mauriee was way too mature for her age, and Derek kept refusing her. Eventually she got ticked off and ran away with David.

Uncle and Derek were left alone, but uncle was very sick. He stopped eating and starved to death when Derek was 22.

Jeeze, and you guys thought my OTHER characters had tragic pasts? WOW. *Fans self.*

I forgot to mention that yes, they did keep maids. The maids and manservants are probably the only reason their family did not kill itself off three generations ago.

Anyway, Derek was left to watch his mansion alone. He grew very lonely and saught the effection of a wandering woman, Elizabeth. She traveled the forest often looking for herbs and lived in a nearby town. He loved her like no other and the two married right on his 23rd birthday. Derek kept his family's cannibal secrets from her and even quit eating human meat.

The two tried like crazy to have children, but it became painfully clear that Derek was sterile. They began to grow apart, much to Derek's dislike, until finally one day a maid let slip that Elizabeth was seeing a man from her home town.

Derek became furious and sent out his butler Vlad to catch the man and bring him back before Elizabeth returned from her herb-hunt.

When she returned Elizabeth was greeted with a large, candle-lit dinner. Fine wine, sweets, the whole shebang. It was all ruined when Derek removed the dinner-tray cap to reveal the head of her secret lover.

Eliza panicked and smacked Der upside the head with a wine bottle, knocking him out briefly. She grabbed a poker from the fireplace and tried to run him through the mouth with it. You know how crazy people get and go all "EAT THIS!" ? Yeah, well she did that. Once the poker touched his lips the pain woke him up and he screamed, kicking her away. This left permanent scars on his lips and part of his tongue. Half his tastebuds are pretty much dead.

Anyway, she fell to the floor, he grabbed a knife, and you can only imagine what went on.

Her body was burned, not eaten. He still had that much respect for her.

And thus we reach Derek now, 27 and rather nutty. He gets jealous easy and suspects everyone of being out to get him. He knows people would kill him if they knew what went on in his home, so he stays locked up. The only visitors are those that track down rare gifts for him, or new bodies are being brought in for dinner.

Appearance: As mentioned, he has scars on his lips and tongue. His skin is deathly pale, you can even see his veins. He's slightly underweight and turns very pink when embarrassed.
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rueyeet Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2011
I was wondering if the name was a Poe reference.

I can't help but be reminded of the dinner scene in Rocky Horror -- "what's the matter, Columbia, you've eaten Eddie before!" "but never with ketchup!" LOOOOL

But more seriously -- there's two major points on which this character seems iffy, to me.

The first being, that except for the brief Ganon reference, the concept doesn't really have much to do with the Zelda-verse. It's just, I dunno, sort of depraved for the sake of it, and I'll admit I'm one of those who doesn't like my Zelda quite THAT dark.

The second is, a cannibal who hardly gets out of the house (and doesn't interact well with people when he does) wouldn't seem to have much use for RP, except as a way to poke at, annoy, or fight with other characters. And if he DOESN'T, then all that awful horror of a past just sort of goes to waste.

The second thing, I think you're good enough at RP to have a chance at pulling off; but the first thing....just kinda seems so fucked up as to be unnecessary to the Zelda-verse.

I would also hazard that all the incest and molestation is a bit TOO un-PG, even for the ZOCC.

Sorry. I am nothing if not tactlessly honest. :(
Hione Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2011
Well I mean, even if it is really dark now-a-days that's pretty normal with stories. I found a book in the kid's section that was a Hansel and Gretel story more close to the original Grimm meaning. The kids get their heads cut off, a man lures girls into the woods to chop them up and eat them, and the kids even go to hell. :'D

Really, incest is actually natural. I know my family history has quite a bit. :/ Especially in the old days where families actually did stay close to keep the wealth near home.

And he'll get out eventually. Lela and I have dabbled with the idea that Saif finds things for Derek and delivers them, sometimes even bodies without him knowin. His love interest is also Vavara, Autumn's girl that goes around killing men, so he'd have to be a little nutty and weird to be a fit for her.

And it's OK.
rueyeet Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2011
This is the new normal? ...somehow I seem to have missed that. D:

I know incest happens, and especially among isolated families/communities, but that doesn't make it a GOOD thing. Much less something I'd like to have to explain to a younger club member, y'know? Plus, "kissing cousins" is one thing, sibling lovers are another.

And honestly, I don't know how Vavara hasn't got caught by now, if she kills as many folks as that; much less how your boy gets away with a people-only diet.

I guess he's a humanitarian

Anyway. Maybe I'm just being the grumpy old lady with morals from a bygone era, when murder used to actually be horrifying. :shrug:
Hione Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2011
Well it's not really a GOOD thing, but it does happen.

Cause Vavara is sneeaaky. And Derek does eat other things, it's just all his meat is human. Gotta have veggies on the side.

Well some of the shadows are pretty bad. D: And Sayik pretty much does bad things, you just never hear about them cause he's ninja that way. XD
rueyeet Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2011
There's a reason we rarely bring the Zalmunna into serious RP, or have to severely throttle them back when we do, though. They pretty much CAN'T be played as they're meant to be, without wrecking things. Nor do I view their less savory actions as being in any way cute or charming. a whole 'nother matter. But actually, while I agree that he makes a great character, I don't really like him, either! And I do think he gets away with way, way too much, without getting kicked for it nearly as often or as hard as he deserves.
Hione Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2011
Well I mean Derek isn't really that bad, just... demented. > A >
rueyeet Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2011
One shudders to think of how he'd show affection. O_O
Hione Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2011
Naw. <3 He's pretty much like Gomez, from the Addams family! He makes weird comments about how pretty blood would look on people.
(1 Reply)
Charles-Of-Termina Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2011  Student General Artist
You know, for a cannibal, he's pretty cool looking. =w=
Hione Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2011
Ain't he though? :'D
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